*Horn
broken. Watch for finger. * Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot. * All generalizations are
false. * Cover me. I'm changing lanes. * I brake for no apparent reason. * Learn from your parent's mistakes -
use birth control. * Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal. * We have enough youth, how about
a fountain of Smart? * He who laughs last thinks slowest. * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. * It
IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. * Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy. * Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine. * Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. * I love cats...they taste
just like chicken. * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. * Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons. *
Born free...Taxed to death. * The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. * Laugh alone and the world thinks you're
an idiot. * Rehab is for quitters. * I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. * Sometimes I wake up grumpy;
Other times I let him sleep. * All men are idiots, and I married their King. * Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
* Work is for people who don't know how to fish. * Montana (or Vermont?)-- At least our cows are sane! * I didn't fight my way to the top of the food
chain to be a vegetarian. * Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. * If you don't like the news, go out
and make some. * When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the IRS. * No radio - Already stolen.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. * Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative. * Where there's a will, I want to be in it. * OK, who stopped
payment on my reality check? * Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it. * I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy
every minute of it. * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW. * Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. * Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its
students * When The Rapture Comes, Can I Have Your Car?
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