- You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
 - You spend more time shining your bike than riding it.
 - You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you.
 - You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady.
 - You take your bike into the shop for oil changes.
 - Your $500 boots aren't scuffed from riding.
 - You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte.
 - You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself.
 - Your saddle bags say "Gucci".
 - You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags.
 - Your tattoos wash off.
 - You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home.
 - You won't ride down a gravel road.
 - You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels.
 - You only ride on weekends, when you can.
 - You never ride to work.
 - All your leathers match.
 - There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers.
 - You don't own a rain suit.
 - You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable.
 - You've never had to replace a worn out tire.
 - You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn.
 - You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection.
 - You ride a Ducati.
 - Your longest road trip this year was to Hooter's for bike night.